| sonicmelange.blogspot.com
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| excellent film. everyone should go see it. It is set in a divided Germany, and chronicles the (fictional?) events leading up to the fall of the wall between the art community and the stasi. I think it's almost as good as Notes on a Scandal, although i think I definitely like the subject matter in the latter more. to veer off topic...this summer is going to be wonderful. I can feel it. and i'm extremely optimistic this time. and I've been writing a lot of bad poetry lately. |
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Can I tell you how amazing this band is? Okay, can someone tell me how to put videos on this thing, lets say from youtube? |
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| I need time off to figure out what I want to do with my life. I'm quite certain no one reads this blog anymore. In fact, I was thinking about switching to blogspot because there are some interesting things being written in THAT network. haha, sorry xanga, you're not that hip anymore. Everything's changed, and yet nothing's changed. Granted i'm not that naive anymore, and I suppose I have more practical skills, and a wider knowledge of current events, but I don't feel like I've learned any solutions to these issues, and I need resolution.
The only thing new for the summer is I'm staying in Berkeley, and moving into a co-op soon, which should be sweeet. The one I'm living in has this crazy outdoor theatre area with what looks to me like a large swing....and some random hot tub in the woods? wtf. and a herb garden on the roof, for all the cooking i'll be doing this break! I'm only working twice a week, so I need to decide which class(es) i want to take, and if time permits, get another job. I just pounded through 3 finals in 2 days, and I'm pooped. I have one more on Thursday, but as for my fighting spirit. I've lost it. Days are so monotonous. Week after week goes by and I find myself waiting for something that I know is never going to come. It's a strange feeling.
I think it also has to do with seeing my ex-roommate the other day. I haven't seen her all semester, and we fell out of touch because she moved out mid-semester, and there was a bit of drama. Long story short, we haven't made contact with each other or talked to one another in literally a semester and a half. But seeing people from your past for the first time in MONTHs is really haunting. Not that she's dead to me or anything, but it's like seeing a ghost, a shadow of a person I once knew, because I know she's not the same person, and I'm not the same person, and it's pointless to miss someone who is no longer there. And then I realized that I don't know who I am by myself, that my identity is defined by those around me, and that's really fucking sad because it means there is no such thing as an intrinsic "me" in my case. I guess there maybe an outline, but I need to figure out what the fuck makes me unique from every other jo-schmo in the neighborhood. And the worst part about all this is I've always been able to see light at the end of the tunnel, but now I just find myself in some vast wasteland, except I'm not a teenager anymore!!
gahh |
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| life is good even when it's not. |
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